It's Not Just About Me

Reunion is not the finish line - it is the beginning of a much harder conversation. Chris Thomason’s story shows what really happens when an adoptee finally finds his birth mother: the shock, the secrecy, the grief, and the long work of learning to move at someone else’s pace.
After decades of carrying rejection and violence from an unstable adoptive childhood, Chris spends years searching before a chance connection, a supportive investigator, and the wisdom of birth mothers in CUB lead him to Lorraine. What follows is not a tidy happy ending, but a secret four-and-a-half-year relationship, a painful discovery of how reunion affects a whole family, and a hard-earned understanding that his birth mother has trauma of her own.
You’ll hear how Chris:
Tracks down his birth mother with the help of an investigator and a single well-timed conversation
Navigates the emotional landmines of a first call, a delayed response, and a reunion built in secret
Learns why CUB—Concerned United Birthparents—became the support system that changed everything
Faces the fallout when his reunion is discovered and his birth mother’s husband feels blindsided
Reframes reunion as a process of patience, boundaries, and empathy, not entitlement
Janet Munro guides the conversation with the perspective of a birth mother herself, bringing a rare dual lens to the episode. Together, they unpack the silence, shame, and timing that shape reunion for both adoptees and birth parents—and why healing often arrives only when everyone involved is given room to process.
This episode is essential listening if you are an adoptee searching for family, a birth parent considering reunion, or anyone who wants a deeper, more honest picture of what reunion really asks of a person. If you’ve ever wondered what happens after the search ends, this conversation tells the truth.